She feared she had lost her testimony.
For a young woman from a very active family, this painful realization was horrifying.
She knew her parents had a testimony. They taught her about receiving and maintaining a testimony. She was convinced she had done her part.
She read her scriptures and prayed regularly.
She attended her meetings each week and never missed Seminary.
That is what worried her.
She had done all she could to position herself to cultivate a testimony. But now, all she felt was emptiness.
Here membership in the Church no longer brought her joy.
Her parents were concerned.
They had planned to participate in a church history tour in a few weeks. They felt if they could get Molly on that trip to tour those sacred sites, surely she would discover what they were convinced she already knew – that she had a testimony.
Unfortunately, she felt nothing at any of those sites. Many other tour participants reported deeply spiritual experiences. But Molly felt empty.
Now they were all concerned.
The next stop was Kirtland. They would start at the Knight store and eventually make their way to the temple.
Her parents prayed that the store would do the trick. But when they existed the site on their way to the temple, they could tell that Molly was still struggling.
Things were not looking good.
But then, the miracle happened. As the exited the temple after the tour, Molly’s face seemed to glow. Her parents, though pleased, asked Molly what happened.
Molly explained while in the temple she felt an overpowering absence of the sprit. As their tour guide spoke of the sacred events that took place in this building, it was as if the guide was reading a script.
When Molly compared her familiar feelings she had at the other sites with the absence of those feelings in the Kirtland temple, she realized that she had grown so accustomed to having the spirit that it took a brief glimpse of life without that constant companionship to realize the truth.
She had never lost her testimony.
When the Laminates surrounded Nephi and Lehi in that old prison and participated in that marvelous spiritual experience, they were all overwhelmed by what had happened. But, as Christ said, the felt the Holy Ghost but “… knew it not.”
I am convinced that God takes His promise of the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost very seriously. Further, I believe that we are so used to living with the Sprit that we too easily take it for granted as Molly learned.
Perhaps this is why President Uchtdorf pleaded with us to doubt or doubts before we doubt our faith.
We don’t need to hear a voice or see a vision to be secure with our testimony.